what have I become
how am I to follow suit
on such a sorrowful day
sun beating down so hard
keeping even ants
from working on the hill
he had died in my dream
countless times
but now that I’m older
than the dream itself
others may visualize
my youthful presence
as a mere memory
I never should have followed
irrational commands
disturbing the soil
where the earth god
works her timeless magic
what have I become
if not a shadow
of my former self
having shed thoughts
of those who made me
instead focused
on rebuilding hills I once
foolishly destroyed
july two thousand nineteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved
jdubqca 
Well done. I especially like the first stanza.
Thank you so much for visiting and commenting on this piece, Ali.