jdubqca

poetry by j matthew waters

if you call I’d be forced to show my hand


I’m a witness to my own sadness
but I swear you’ll never see it

as you may have guessed
I’m good at keeping it all to myself

I’m selfish that way

you may ask me if I’m doing okay
& I’ll tell you of course I am

for you see the sadness
comes & goes just like the wind

isn’t it funny how that works

today was another b-plus day
much better than yesterday

but as for tonight or tomorrow
that’s still up in the air

if only you would call I’d be forced
to show my hand




july two thousand twenty
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

circling back through time


I’ve always believed in be not afraid
that somehow a greater power would take
care of me through it all

opening my heart & my mind
I find myself in someone else’s shoes
& suddenly I’m having doubts
questioning how it could possibly be
that we’re living in the same world




july two thousand twenty
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

unsolved mysteries


I’m not going to keep repeating
myself as if I’ve nothing left to say

they say it’s impossible to come up
with anything original but I don’t
believe that for a new york minute

in the repeating dream
there are millions of monarchs
representing twenty-six letters in a key
and somehow you’re expected
to dumb it down for everyone

of course by the time
you’re running out the door
all is long forgotten
and those above ground mysteries
[those abstract imitations]
will simply have to wait
until the ultimate break of day




july two thousand twenty
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

here in this place


it’s so small
this private property
minuscule really
just like we
once were

it’s relative
is it not
like a pebble
is to an earth ant
or a dwarf exoplanet
to her star

it’s no wonder
we find ourselves
here in this place
exploring previously
unknown tracts
like there’s
no tomorrow




july two thousand twenty
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

reborn into apathy


it’s 3:30 in the morning
suddenly I’m forced
back into consciousness

it’s been going on for
three days now
like some stupid sideshow
nobody wants to watch

do I give in & rise to my feet
& suddenly start walking again
or do I crawl back inside
& cry myself to sleep

I’ve played out a number
of possible scenarios
but not a one of them
appeals to my inner ego

meanwhile the clock is ticking
& people of many color are dying
as I lay here before the
unquestionable rise of dawn
doing nothing




july two thousand twenty
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

unchanging are the winds


besides clouds & butterflies
and pollination & sweet summer smells
there’s something else in the air
or so the restless community tells me

the winds come & go at their leisure
bringing with them unpredictability
though what’s in the air remains
as if it were yesterday all over again




july two thousand twenty
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

like late autumn leaves


precious little one
look me in the eye & listen
to my words

for there are so few left
in this world
& I wish to bestow them

to someone like you
innocent & accepting
willing to secure them

for an undetermined
amount of time
willing to one day

set them free
by releasing them into
an uplifting wind

only to slowly descend
into your open arms
like late autumn leaves




july two thousand twenty
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

aerials in the sky


as you can see the sky remains the same
that is constantly changing
testing thought & imagination
by way of day & night & wind & rain
variable sun angles playing with
the phases of the moon

but on the ground things are much different
where change is as fast as light
mountains erupting & seas rising
her people afraid but ever hopeful
innovating new ways to touch the sky
one arrow at a time




july two thousand twenty
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

repurposeful


oh wait dear lord
for I am not quite ready to rest
peacefully at your right hand

first you must cast me out
back into the streets
where my voice will rise above the chaos
higher than the skyscrapers

yes all will listen and the gathering
will grow into a purposeful swarm
weaving and sweeping through the streets
our words knowledgeable & lyrical
reasonable & rhythmical
becoming the next great communication
delivered with newfound authority

though it is my voice they are your words
echoing throughout the night
leaving behind a trail of new thought
scattered like seeds in our wake




july two thousand twenty
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

on the horizon


not a day goes by and I’ve already passed on
left to explore anywhere of my choosing
but best of all on my own terms & conditions

for instance today it was an all day rain
and I allowed myself to remain in its entirety
unopened black umbrella my walking stick

see here if you will there is change on the horizon
if only you could take the time & go with me
we would encircle multiple moons indefinitely

forwards or backwards it makes no difference
this way you yourself can see the inner workings
are clearly indifferent to past & future events




july two thousand twenty
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

we live in interesting times


the body & the soul
one is always for sale
and the other
well that all depends

we live in the midst
of defining moments
also described as
‘interesting times’
by generation after generation
always attempting
to comprehend the past
all the while rationalizing
the ever present

what will highly likely
remain unresolved
is who if anyone
makes it to the other side




june two thousand twenty
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

rag-and-bone


let us know what you don’t want
we’re taking anything we can
get our grubby little hands on
be it metal or paper or plastic
it makes no difference
it all adds up

new forces stealthily
patrol the neighborhood
collecting sterile & burnt offerings
a project within a project
experimenting with a brand new
law & order

drones with credentials
swoop down & aggregate
whatever’s considered handsome
taking any & all hand-me-downs
(and) redefining recycling
in extraterrestrial ways




june two thousand twenty
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

as forgotten can be


living in the moment
ideally like the butterfly
there is no thought
only flight
impossible to comprehend
the past
whatever it was
whatever it may have been
it is gone
gone forever
free from the chains that once
held us in place
forgotten as forgotten can be




june two thousand twenty
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

miracle on first & third


it’s always the same dilemma
where do I go from here
repeatedly asking are you with me or not

how do I even begin to slow things down
once enough has become enough

conspiracy theories are running rampant
up & down the line
there’s no telling what people will believe
now that the churches have been burnt down

what’s next & why
there has to be some place better than
the here & now

they say it’s simple to mobilize
you just do it without blinking
suddenly you find yourself in the mix
inside the mosh pit of consciousness
rock solid & once again walking with purpose




june two thousand twenty
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

an imperfect circle


we’re not going anywhere
no not this time
the two door’s in the garage
buttoned down with the top down
collecting but a little dust
tank full & engine well greased
strangely idling there
cleaner than a gun

everything seems to be wide open
like a harvest moon rising
into a cloudless night

but alas here on the ground
nothing’s quite the same
yes there are sights to be seen
but not a single place to stop
steering clear of small populations
gathering in imperfect circles
& passing around
dirty little secrets




june two thousand twenty
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

theory of a fetus


it’s the summer of sixty-one
and I’m still in my mother’s womb

I often wonder if one day
I’ll totally recall the experience
as if I were chilling there yesterday

hanging out most of the time
sideways or upside down
every now & again
doing slow motion somersaults
or at least imagining so

back then nobody was taking pictures
so they couldn’t possibly
see that carbon instrument
attached to my left hand
surgically removed right after birth

but that’s not hindered me
from chronicling life in so many words
putting to rest any notion
that forward motion can come & go
as she pleases




june two thousand twenty
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

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