jdubqca

poetry by j matthew waters

Archive for the tag “death”

it’s all right if I don’t answer this one


someone’s rapping on the door
and all I can think of is why oh why
aren’t they ringing the bell

I run out back and around
the side of the garage
peering toward the front door

lo and behold it’s big bird
holding thirteen helium filled balloons
red and black and white and of course yellow
blue furred cookie monster by his side
somewhat annoyed yet content
munching on a box of thin mints

I must be out of my mind I say
shaking my head
retreating back to where I once was
repeating to myself how death
never arrives as imagined





november two thousand seventeen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

looking in through revolving door


back of my hands are cold
I shiver at the thought of death
creeping on me invisibly
he dares not show his face
knowing I won’t go easily

temptation placed on hold
insulated from princely wrath
replaced by deceit and trickery
dancing in sweet embrace
revolving throughout eternity



october two thousand seventeen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

digging up dirt on a sunday afternoon


I wasn’t looking for anything
which was the whole point

out of the blue I discovered the knowledge
I thought I had acquired over the years
has been with me all along

year by year and one by one
I give up that which was given to me
whether I had wanted it or not
whether I had loved it
or hated it
or felt entirely indifferent toward it

there is truth and there is trust
neither quite like the other
but both touchable and tastable
as fleeting as death itself

and so when I am busily digging
not looking for anything in particular
I find myself uncovering
that which is worth dying for





october two thousand seventeen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

on call on a friday night


how do I replace all the friends
I’ve lost along the way
at what point will it be the end
of the road for me

it’s silly to dwell on such thoughts
but sometimes ego
unexpectedly takes over
suggesting I fall to my knees

road signs keep cropping up
further and further from the city
expanding the time it takes
to find inner peace

meanwhile I sit idly by
counting virtual dollars in the
palm of my hand
waiting somewhat impatiently





october two thousand seventeen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

and hoping not to die


at first there were a dozen of us
(actually a baker’s dozen)
and we knew everything
there was to know
about each and every one of us

one by one each of us fell
but most of us got back up

but that was seemingly
centuries ago when we didn’t
realize not all stars shine
and the moon can be visible
on the brightest of days

(not having all the facts)
nonetheless we made a pact
heart to heart
    and eye to eye
promising nothing
      except for inevitably
going our separate ways



december two thousand sixteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

places buried in the past


I did not know her
but I was compelled
to find her final resting place

it was a bright but cold december day
but I kept warm in the car
driving mindlessly past corn fields
mile after mile after mile
stripped clean yet ruggedly barren

the interstate traffic was heavy
and I wondered how many seekers
if any
had set off on a journey
to find her final resting place

google maps told me how to get there
but I only had to read the directions once

and when I got there
it was as if I had been there all along



december two thousand sixteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

counting down the days


oh glorious night settle into darkness
and let me tell thee whom I give my life

I belong neither to sky above nor sea below
and from all accounts was burst forth from
scorpius some thirty-three light years ago

though my days on earth have been counted
on one thousand and one hands
it is a far cry to say this was ever my home
for the glory of goodness lives not here
but rather in a place and time that knows no end



november two thousand sixteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

hiding behind marshmallow clouds


descending into madness at midnight
I pull pieces of bread from my pockets
feeding them to my soul

in the morning I take tylenol
and pour raw milk onto a
bowl of rice krispies
listening to vague childhood memories

in the middle of the afternoon the full
moon hides behind marshmallow clouds
my conscience reminding me
(as I fall into a self-induced slumber)
how everything becomes edible in the end



november two thousand sixteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

as if I had been there


a thin vapor trail
slipped in through the front door
but nobody was home

if I had been there
I would have noticed something
was quite different
but I was gone on a
journey of a lifetime

the place had not changed
all these years
everything perfectly in place
as if nobody had really
lived there

while my mind wandered
away from worldly ideals
seeking out transcendental gurus
residing on new moons
my spirit remained behind
waiting patiently
to be seen


april two thousand sixteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

flash powder


what have I contributed
to the cause
keeping the music alive and
guarding elephants
from poachers

I’ve given up aerosol sprays
and gasoline
marlboro lights
store-bought soup
and religion

how much more do I have to give

that constant humming in my ear
is that just a warning from
my guardian angel
or simply a reminder
how those widely admired
can easily be swept away
like a night owl’s prey
silently screaming

absolution doesn’t exist
in the blink of an eye
and even if it did
no act of contrition could
prevent anyone from
seeing the light


january two thousand sixteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

long live the encore


there is death in the desert
and death in the sea

there is death in the streets of paris
and on the avenue of the saints

in the halls of washington the president
designs death in new ways
and those around him applaud
and he smiles

in the meantime he decries death in the theater
and death in the schools

and his people will pretend they don’t know
what is causing all the death

they are too busy with their own superficial lives
to question why army drones are supplying weapons
to enemy camps and into the
hands of every enemy of every nation

they are numb to the concept of violent death
because it is simply ingrained into their psyche
and they spoon-feed it to their children
in the form of horrific death on television screens
on movie screens and computer screens
on the tiniest of handheld screens

the idea of mass death does not faze them
and when a day goes by without it
they think something must be wrong

and when dreamers talk of peace they laugh
because they know peace is unnatural
and takes too much effort to pull off

and so death simply goes on

long after the final curtain call


november two thousand fifteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

an endless recollection


repetition of living has taken its toll
on my susceptible shell
altering its physicalities
while heightening my emotions

determined to keep my thoughts
in proper order
I focus on an energy
that is bound to send me skyward

nothing can take away the color
of those changing leaves
or the rippling of streaming water
polishing age-old rocks
nothing can erase the rising
of an off-white moon
or the setting of a kaleidoscope sun
nothing will remove the sounds of laughter
on a summer afternoon
or the sadness trapped inside
melancholy sighs

stepping forward and upward
effortlessly
I shed the weight of the world
and all that it entails
sailing away while looking back
at an endless recollection


october two thousand fifteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

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