jdubqca

poetry by j matthew waters

Archive for the tag “memory”

thunderstorm


my father doesn’t understand
the english language anymore
so I learned a little french
some spanish & portuguese
but that didn’t do the trick

I told him I didn’t want him to die
though deep down inside
I knew it was a pretty white lie

I told him how much I hated him
when I was an adolescent & a teen
but he could no longer hear me
through the cellular lines

my brother once told me
god & him were like this
which is why we continued
playing the back nine
each of us carrying
a bag of lightning rods





march two thousand twenty-three
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

building a world by memory


I have crossed the threshold
of the shadow
no longer afraid
of being alone
a stranger is my own house
waking me
by way of a touch
every morning at three fifteen

the walls & ceiling are dark
as I lay there
blinking my eyes quickly
my once uninterrupted dream
continuing in various shades
of black & white
until finally dissolving
by way of a volitional light

outside of the dream
all doors & windows are locked
from the inside
I wander from room to room
occasionally settling
at the bay window facing south
watching the river running
faster than usual





february two thousand twenty-three
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

resting at home


it’s become difficult to concentrate
on one thing at a time
the multitasking multiverse
inflicting its influence
over unsuspecting minds

what you’re doing here I have no idea
it seems I can’t recall your name
but if you give me a hint or two
maybe I’ll shout it out
before you leave

they say I’ve been stuck inside
these four walls
for years on end
but all I can remember
is dirty rain falling
outside these dirty windows
an unexpected light
occasionally producing
a dingy looking rainbow





february two thousand twenty-three
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

checking my mailbox


I keep forgetting things
but then again
I tell myself
I’m not as wired
as I used to be

I’m not into clichés
or goodbye kisses
also not keen on forgetting
recent events

nevertheless
I shrug off certain things
instead of screaming at people
who are not there
knowing eventually I’ll recall
what this life
might be all about

if I pass you on the street
with nary an acknowledgement
I hope you’ll remember
it was nothing intentional





november two thousand twenty-two
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

it’s true what they say


that flash before your
very eyes
I see it happening
all the time

[I see it happening
all the time]

it’s true what they say
about the mind
a recorder of everything
playbacks & recalls
sometimes spot on
often faulty
nonetheless all of it
the truth & the way
how a simple gesture
takes you back
before the very beginning
before time itself





may two thousand twenty-two
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

life before your very eyes


it’s gone
whatever it was
a flashing light
a fleeting thought
a glimpse deep within a newly
created memory
most likely not to be recalled
anytime soon
spared the permanency
of any & all airwaves
perhaps recorded
in some other fashion
in such a way we may
never understand
until time has long passed
and there it is
long last
staring you in the eye





march two thousand twenty-two
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

something like poetry


idling on tokyo avenue
waiting for the light to turn green
boston blaring from coaxial speakers
back in the summer of seventy-nine

it’s easy to misremember
exactly how everything
went down in the day
but the music
that’s another story entirely
always open to interpretation





december two thousand twenty-one
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

repairing old circuitry


things easier said than done
drifting sideways like a ghost
pacing a subway platform
once grand ideas drifting
from the left to the right
within reach but untouchable


what I would like to say
stays inside this prison cell
eating away at a past
that was far from perfect
all the while retooling (by)
rewiring the memory board





september two thousand twenty-one
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

The great resignation


Images replay in your mind
throughout a lifetime

Compared to photographs & recordings
or any other means
detailing what transpires here
only the memory keeps it true
to the original
whether in color or black & white
such unpredictable flashbacks
suddenly appear out of nowhere

Thinking back to a time
doesn’t always do itself justice
just as reaching deep inside
doesn’t always do the trick
oh no sometimes your memory
does on its own
what you can’t possibly control
especially when least expected





august two thousand twenty-one
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

yesterday


do you remember
    of course I do
like it was yesterday


the only problem is
    yesterday
doesn’t exist anymore

I wanted to read
    some poetry
but lost my glasses

you had them yesterday
    is what she told me
smiling & walking away




june two thousand twenty-one
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

imperfect memory


like stepping on a shard of glass
buried in the shag
childhood memories come
back to life one snippet at a time

I borrow my sister’s white figure skates
tie the laces together & strap
them over my shoulder
head out on foot to the city park
where the ice is six feet thick
and the weather favorable

round & round everyone seemed to go
I racing faster than any of them
crossing foot over foot around the turns
hands held together at my lower back

everyone seems so happy
and I begin to believe that I am too




february two thousand twenty-one
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

partial recall


I receive emails from myself
little hints about what remains undone
yellow sticky note reminders
what calls to return
colors needing washing
wrist watch in need of repair
gas running low
milk soon expiring
jeans day is friday
remember the alamo
it happened somewhere down south
somewhere in texas I do believe

you remind yourself to google it
continuously remind yourself
to expand your mind
lest it begin to shrink
(quite unlike the universe)
until one day you awaken
and see yourself in the mirror
barcode tattooed on your forehead
data represented by varying
widths and spacings of parallel lines
its contents containing
every single memory worth recalling




march two thousand eighteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

higher than yesterday


every day I’d be doing handstands in the
fenced-in school grounds before the first bell
competing against all the pretty inner city girls

it was all part of being in love with the world
outside the home where I was free to be myself
in whatever shape or form of my choosing

how I would gladly return to those days of
simplicity and uncommonplace acceptance
my toes hanging ten longer than the day before



march two thousand seventeen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

embryo


I entered the world
like a flower blooming
an experience blocked
from a memory dying
to understand
how the subliminal past
led me to this time
where I beget the pistil
and the petal




’embryo’ youtube video

november two thousand twelve
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

your poem


I burned your image
in my mind
like charcoal lead
on cottony white paper

I painted your eyes
on canvas
like I had known them
my entire life

I drew your heart
closer to mine
beating rhythmically
as if we were one


september two thousand twelve
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

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