jdubqca

poetry by j matthew waters

Archive for the tag “life”

story of my life


up and down
and down and up
that’s the story of my life

what’s that noise
just outside the door
a bark
a meow
an unexpected package
a girl scout selling thin mints

doorbell rings
I get up and walk
through the kitchen
and family room
mumbling beneath my breath
this better be good
this better be good

door opens
nobody’s there
I look at my feet
no dog
no cat
no package
no cookie salesgirl

before closing door
I look all ways
up and down
and down and up
from side to side
straight forward and behind
shaking the cobwebs
out of my head
and gradually regressing
to my former state




october two thousand eighteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

throwing caution to the wind


I’m just a two-bit actor
asked to sit still and observe
ticket holders weaving their
way through popcorn lines

what I want to say is that
the movie is in your head
replaying the same scene
in so many different ways

the first time around I was
smoking on a park bench
imagining I was with them
playing frisbee golf

of course that scene was cut
and replaced by a younger me
burning crosses in mississippi

sometimes I sit for hours
in a room full of hopefuls
not saying a word
but rehearsing every line
I ever knew
just in case they call my name



december two thousand sixteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

taking advantage


this never gets easy
this guessing game with no
real answers
written on the back of cards

how many times do I
just get in the car
looking for something
that doesn’t exist

how many times do I
open a door
just because I think
somebody is knocking

that thing around the corner
it’s pretty fucking scary
some of the time
and sometimes it’s more than scary
and that’s when you understand
just how alive you really are

so I hear this weekend is
supposed to be super nice
I suppose I should take advantage
of the situation while I still can


february two thousand sixteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

Silo

by Daniella Sciuto & J Matthew Waters

Are you jealous
Of the space between us
Filled with darkness
And twinkling stars

Bereft of passion
The green patina of sarcasm
Lobs my way

Have you forgotten
All those years
Reduced to a mere photograph
Safekept under glass

Encapsulated
In an unmanned
Underground
Silo

Why did you build that bomb
The one that divided us
A mushroom cloud of discontent
Hovering overhead

As our atom split
Turning two into too many nights
Alone and cold in the dark
I tried to seek a sign up above
Past an endless sky without light

Finally I ask myself am I the one
Am I jealous of the space between us
Of the fragile photograph kept under glass

Was it me who built that bomb
Did I hover in discontent
Watching as we split
Lonely in this silo in the dark

july two thousand fifteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

out of reach


he turned dirt into mud with spit
and gentle hands
nimble fingers changing malleable
clay into lifeless figurines

they possessed no soul
and no hearts beat inside to fuel
their starving minds

high up on a shelf they sat
out of reach from the many visitors
who called randomly
touring the estate but coming up empty
sent to find something inside
from forces unknown

that is all there is he would tell them
and they turned and left
disappointed but certain
there were prisoners inside the place
desperate to be saved



july two thousand fifteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

her world as she knew it


they say there is no setting
or rising of the sun
they say it is always there
and it’s just your imagination
that sometimes it is not

with that in mind I stood at the
doorstep and handed a child
paper and markers and
asked her to interpret the
world as she knew it

from inside her mind she drew
countless circles orbiting
infinite stars
and every now and then
she placed a new moon
where you’d least expect it

I wondered how many of her
suns supported life as we know it
and as I was about to ask her
she told me she needed
more space and time


september two thousand fourteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

Rewriting the Universe

by Daniella Sciuto & J Matthew Waters

I drew these lines ages ago without
understanding the consequences
and my desire to protect them
weakened as time wore on

I sketched these images
fast frenetic murals on the wall
portraying all my doubts
concerning this world
and myself
and then I lived on
each day passing by
these lines remained unchanged
concealed by a thin layer of imagination

I crossed the line into a new
form of reality
regaining my strength by
becoming one with creation
drawn across the land
yet the pull of these lines
that basis of all
beyond the veil of life
influenced everything
no matter how much I whitewashed
my tabula rasa was not pure
and I found myself
redrawing the lines
found myself starting all over again

this is how it both
ends and begins
with poetry written
rewritten and rewritten again
layers upon meanings
upon words
with us forever
redrawing the lines
starting all over again
whilst the ghosts of poems past
influence everything


september two thousand fourteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

the enemy within


solar winds introduce new
life into the galaxy
hurtling subatomic creatures on
out-of-control rocks
racing to find a place to crash

lucky enough to penetrate
outer atmospheres
they breakup and collaborate
as golfball-sized hail
strategically hitting safe houses

once accepted within they evolve
one thousand years
learning the culture and waiting
patiently to take over
a planet destined to be theirs


june two thousand fourteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

pushing and pulling


it’s so dark I can’t even see my fingers
so cold cannot feel my heart

machines hum along in the white room
giving me fresh air and influencing my dreams

what nobody knows
       is when I’ll be home
or when I’ll be able to say
       I remember everything

(due to atmospheric disturbances
summer never arrived)

crawling through the rubble
my fingertips make rocks sound like glass
rubbing against themselves like butterfly wings

scratching below the surface
I give inspiration to newly awakened lives


june two thousand fourteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

where oh where can she be


she’s in a better place now
he mumbled to himself
retying his wingtips on the bathroom stool
dabbing his finger with his tongue
and erasing old smudge marks

she never felt comfortable
walking in her own shoes
choosing instead to be someone else
like a promising young star
searching for that perfect role

he walked back into the parlor
and mingled among the living
wondering where in the macrocosm
her consciousness had landed
now that her body lay in state


june two thousand fourteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

the rhyme inside us


wandering through the orchard
I picked a fresh rhyme
held her loosely in my hand

arriving back to the house
I opened my palm
found the rhyme cold and lifeless

rocking her inside my arms
I quietly breathed
healing words into her core

slowly her color returned
her skin unwrinkling
newfound rhythm filled the air

quickly I composed a poem
with water and vase
the rhyme inside blossoming


march two thousand fourteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

crossing over to life


I had no idea I crossed over to life
that day you set me free from
centuries of rest

you said I was a sleeping giant
but I only saw myself
as uncharged atoms
floating randomly through darkness

standing at the center of attention
you raised your hands
and opened them upward
towards the sun
delivering unto the gods
the light that was once my life


february two thousand fourteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

blessed are the lucky ones


when someone says they make
their own luck
I can only imagine how blatantly
foolish they must be
believing having control
of their own destiny
is actually possible by someone
other than the gods

for free spirits such as these
I hope they never
ever know
it’s just a matter of time
before they come to realize
luck has nothing to do
with their lot in life
nor their untimely demise


january two thousand fourteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

sometime before the sun


I awoke violently
as if someone had grabbed my
shoulders and shook me
with all their might

Gasping for breath
as if dying or coming to life
I recall striving to push my imagination
from beneath the surface
out-chasing the nightmare
that is the unborn

Within the darkness
I hushed myself back to sleep
pretending nothing
ever happened to the sun




december two thousand thirteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

that cool refreshing drink


this notion about life giving you lemons
seems a bit silly

I mean
what about apples
and oranges and pears

there is orange juice
and apple juice
but with pears
it seems they’re
mostly compatible with jello

with lemons I envision
shots of tequila and table salt
even though the most popular
drink of all must be lemonade

as children we constructed a booth
and sold nature’s candy
all summer long
and when the homeless arrived
with their hands held out
we smiled and offered them
dixie cups full of our finest elixir


two thousand thirteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

when stars die


billions of stars
drawing a map
across time

adrift in an
endless quest for
intelligent life

setting suns
give birth
to new moons

new life spawns
deep inside
planetary waters



august two thousand thirteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

acquiescence


if only I had freed my mind
from the fatal threat
I would have cleared the board
of thoughtlessness
instead of surrendering
to acquiescence


august two thousand thirteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

alive like the butterfly


the moment you start looking back
and analyzing every misstep
chances are you are not where
you want to be
and all the hopeless wishing in the world
will leave you even more wretched

consider the beauty of the butterfly
and ask yourself if your life isn’t worth
just as much
and maybe then you will understand
moving forward is the only option
with or without a migration map



june two thousand thirteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

genome projects


this old blue jewel continuously
reinvents herself
through orderly chaos
using beautifully destructive forces
to tear herself down and rise again
in unimaginable creativity

she is her own god forever conjoined
with the serene sky
the strands of creation
emitting sparks from her fingertips
fashioning transcendental elements
into a supernatural world



june two thousand thirteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

lessons to be learned


enormous yellow bus
makes historic stop
at the corner of oak
and every avenue

daddy holds his little girl’s
hand as the two of them
stand speechless staring
at the flashing stop sign

the door swings open
and curious feet disappear
into a swarming world
of pushing and pulling


march two thousand thirteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

polar opposites


beauty arises from the dirt
born of age-old comets
and earthly delights
photosynthetic arms
feeding on the sun
and supporting a smile
colorful and wide

beneath the surface
a neural network
grows in an opposing way
stretching and penetrating
though the darkness
weaving absolute lifelines
for the blind to grasp


february two thousand thirteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

embryo


I entered the world
like a flower blooming
an experience blocked
from a memory dying
to understand
how the subliminal past
led me to this time
where I beget the pistil
and the petal




’embryo’ youtube video

november two thousand twelve
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

the city is near


I merge onto route one
around midnight
a cup of coffee
shaking in my hand
another placed
in the holder

in the back seat
my darling exhales angrily
pleading with baby
and begging the lord
to give us more time

I race past the limit
chasing the new moon
and hugging the white line
laughing at the thought
I’m a daddy any minute



july two thousand twelve
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

reflect


i’m borrowing this rock
i keep in my pocket
uncovered years ago
when starting the garden

i washed it off
in the birdbath
dirtying the water
and giving it new life
for however long i can



july two thousand twelve
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

Man.


Man.
We contempt and condemn
compromise and concede
ridicule and joke with
and otherwise
turn a blind eye
to the fact
we have no proof
the roller coaster ride
outside the Earth’s orbit
is meant for our kind.

january two thousand twelve
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

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