I did not pass the test of time
and soon found myself
back at the drawing table
studying the subject
from a different point of view
one in which I’d become
someone unrecognizable
making me wonder
what would have become of me
if I had managed to pass the test
on the very first try
february two thousand twenty-five
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved
at the bottom of the résumé
included the applicant’s hobbies
one of which was aspiring mystic
I cocked my head
and went back to the beginning
questioning my own judgment
—all of the mistakes made
my secret sins
the killing of so many possibilities
past & present
& future
how wrong could I have been
passing by on this piece of paper
as if it was as dead as those sea scrolls
(only to be revived)
as if once passing onto my desk
was most certainly destined for the fire
like a witch exposed
like a bird made out of clay
january two thousand twenty-four
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved
I am not me today
once checking out of rehab
I walk down the sidewalk
a man without a horse
the city’s no place for me
it’s high time I check into the future
where ocean waves
always change but never cease
off in the distance
there is a white horse pacing
up & down the shoreline
protecting the damaged dinghy
[that will one day become ours]
the very one that brought her there
december two thousand twenty-three
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved
it was like a dream
there was concrete and many
shades of blue
I was trying to free myself
from a predicament
that had nothing to do with you
and so I crawled away
while you sailed interstellar space
not even bothering to write
(even when you had the time)
your vibe slowly fading
like a september sunflower
it was only a matter of time
before I caught up to you
(is what I kept telling myself)
but then I was yanked away
(yet again) by a jealous entity
determined to rattle
the coins out my pocket
and send me back two steps
to see where I went wrong
july two thousand sixteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved
she couldn’t find her stuffed bear
anywhere
except for the places
she was too afraid to look
beneath her bed
a trap door led to a stairwell
introducing a network of caverns
anywhere that poor bear
could be hiding
could be hiding anywhere
climbing up a tree barely
out of reach from
her bedroom window
someone picks crabapples
and gets ever so sleepy
dreaming of floating on air
down below a little girl
dressed in a onesie and
tears in her eyes
shouts through her funneled hands
wake up
wake up
wake up and jump
I promise I’ll never lose you again
october two thousand fifteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved
she turned a card and without lifting her eyes
asked me when I had quit smoking
it was years ago I said
I remember it was on president’s day
you were wise to do so she said
otherwise you would not be here today
I nodded my head as she turned another card
was that about the same time you
gave up the church she asked
deciding to pursue salvation on your own
this time I did not say a word but simply
waited for her to turn another card
and when she did so the candle flickered
and neither of us breathed
regaining her senses she lifted her head
her eyes slowly opened
her mind asking me
why in the world I’ve been unable
to forgive myself
november two thousand fourteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved
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