when I tell them I want
to be a bird when I grow up
all I hear is laughter
not just any bird
I go on to say
but one in which I can paint
my own feathers
a different color every day
one in which I can sing
a new song until I find the one
sung directly from my heart
and when I die
my brightest of feathers
will surely fade away
but my song
oh my song
it will live forever
september two thousand twenty
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved
they’re everywhere
outside the sunroom feeding
barely audible & hurrying
inside hanging like glass angels
kept afloat by invisible wires
nobody dare notices
september is here upon us
mindlessly giving & taking
asking nobody for any favors
uncomfortably sitting still
depending upon the light
doors & windows open & shut
repeating every so often
winds die down & return to life
at the slightest command
it’s best not to give in
as you see like anything else
september always ends
desperate wings all aflutter
effectively fanning the fire
september two thousand twenty
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved
where did you go little chickadee
the summer is barely over
those eerie sounds you hear
wicked winds coming from the west
were never meant to scare you
come back please
please come back home
don’t leave me now I’ve much to learn
once everything dies I’ll be counting on you
to help me make it to the other side
september two thousand twenty
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved
nobody really knows what happened
just like nobody knows what will
they keep saying something bad
is bound to happen to him
but it never does
in the meantime we are picking up
all kinds of pieces
large & small & medium & minuscule
picking up the tiniest shards of glass
(slightly larger than molecules)
grinding them to nothing with our teeth
this town used to be something
nearly opposite than it is today
medicated & isolated
its people slowly turn on themselves
for explanations unimaginable
september two thousand twenty
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved
tanks rolling through town
escorting a larger entourage
little legs running right along
keeping up with the pace
robotic machines with long legs & long arms
marching & singing ‘one two three four
who are we fighting for’
everything’s been canceled
the parade is all there is
children singing ‘one two three four’
lighting snakes & small fires by the curbside
strategizing about stargazing
wildly boasting of shooting the moon
and bringing down the sun god
september two thousand twenty
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved
I imagine as the years pass
change appears to quicken its pace
when in fact all along it’s been this way
from the very start
people are passionate by nature
though by many varying degrees
hiders & seekers alike
attempting to vainly save themselves
or selflessly saving others
we can stampede much faster
than one or twenty horses
kicking up dirt & turning the landscape
into a horizontal blur
or methodically slow things down
to a virtual crawl
wiping clear the skies & undoing
the end of time
september two thousand twenty
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved
the season is quickly changing
and most of the houses
are dark by 8pm
it’s hard to say how many
are abandoned
voluntarily or otherwise
the streets are littered with what
the winds left behind
there’s hardly any room
for any kind of truck to pass through
the smell of mixed wood abounds
whether freshly cut
or burning miles away
hundreds of wood chip pyramids
magically appear overnight
the carnival was supposed to be in town
(a fresh change from
all the other outsiders)
but it was abruptly cancelled
just like everything else
august two thousand twenty
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved
choose wisely what you remember
if that is even possible
despite the accuracy of the moment
the further back you go
the more vivid it seems to be
there is an aum in your future
I can feel it
one in which forces you to slow
things down
opening the possibility
of moving further
than you’ve gone thus far
in your short time here
from there you can launch yourself
as long as you continue to possess
the fortitude & the will
august two thousand twenty
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved
I’m all alone in my room
listening to toxicity
unfamiliar lyrics
forming & shaping
my current state of mind
drinking casually
drawing smoke to my lungs
needle & spoon
within arm’s reach
I sing along whenever I can
guessing what words
may come next
as if learning a new language
the recording progresses
banging my head
against an imaginary wall
thrashing my head
into the electrified air
august two thousand twenty
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved
this is not the same place it used to be
the neighborhood
the municipality
the county & the state
and all those interconnected
yes there are safe zones & hot spots
but they can flip on a dime
and then where will you be
either in the safest place imaginable
or right there in the middle of the fray
I used to call them the police
but now I’m finding myself calling them cops
like I did when I was a little kid
when we played cops & robbers
running unrestrained between houses
and through back alleyways
taking to the safety of the park
and all its beaten paths & tallest pines
doing my damndest to shake them
as they close in within earshot
suddenly emptying half their round
without even a warning
august two thousand twenty
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved
it was a billy joel kind of morning
the big hand crossing over six
she’s always a woman playing on the a-side
soon to flip over to anthony’s song
in the old days you’d make a racket
demanding I clock in as the doorman
before I was good & ready
even before the first song ever ended
over time your musical tastes changed
right along with mine
lately banging our heads against the door
reluctant to find what’s on the other side
august two thousand twenty
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved
I’ve neglected my hummingbird friends
far too long but through no fault of my own
oh how they must be a forgiving sort
returning once finding me back on my feet
it’s true the natural nectar may have been
decimated by the wicked wicked winds
but now there is sunlight to be found
between blinking eyes & barren ground
it’s true the landscape is ever changing
leading us to say we live in interesting times
though matter of factly it’s business as usual
reaching out & routinely replenishing
august two thousand twenty
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved
make-believe people ask me
what was I thinking
when everything went down
I just smile like an idiot
having never been blown away
by such a bout of reality
if I was thinking I’d probably
have done things differently
maybe pretend I was a reporter
jotting down some notes
or voice recording objectively
what it was I was witnessing
instead I found myself swirling
inside the eye of the storm
past & present souls gathering
aiding & abetting my inner strength
august two thousand twenty
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved
my heart’s once again
connected to the outside world
beating irregularly
sending mixed signals
online & offline & back online again
sometimes unsuspecting angels
come in & take a look
but only when they have time
in my mind
I’m back in the garage
putting the improvised band
back together again
working my rock star drum kit
in an attempt to attract
rising or fading stars
willing to give it another shot
august two thousand twenty
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved
the game’s over
it’s taken me more years than expected
to make it all the way back home
I’d been fighting
for so many lives than my own
when they finally brought me back
I was not going to burden anyone
I was going to do what I’ve always done
determined to show
strength comes from different places
eventually I had to face the reality of my own
a little box less than five feet tall
steel capped boot pressing shovel
repeatedly into the earth
august two thousand twenty
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved
we’d become separated by no fault of our own
unable to remember if it was due to gunfire
or mother nature herself
out back the horses are long gone
having escaped before the doors swung shut
galloping faster than the wind
their hooves barely touching the ground
from what I’ve learned things may never die down
& those stars shining ever brighter
will one night once again be wished upon
all rights reserved
august two thousand twenty
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved
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