one fresh lemon and frozen peas
carrots & celery & radishes
those are the easy ones to remember
instead of making a list
I try to recall what’s in the fruit basket
lazy susan and freezer
if only I didn’t have to stop at the pharmacy
everyone hates me there
plus they have my number and long memories
I rarely go down the middle aisles
afraid I may never come out
instead stick to the edges
where I can see real people
peddling real ideas
I tell my text-by-psychiatrist
that I’m not a druggie and never was
but I do like to get high
in the strangest possible ways
and most conspicuous places
she tells me to go on but I don’t
believing she’s really not a she
but rather an under-age sex-bot created
by four freshmen software engineers
at iowa state university
I sort of come back down to earth
when the bell rings and they ask me
if I found everything all right
leaving me scratching my head
and fumbling for my car keys
january two thousand nineteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved
This is great. A total riot. The sex bot section, this:
“I tell my text-by-psychiatrist
that I’m not a druggie and never was
but I do like to get high
in the strangest possible ways”
Fantastic piece.
Thank you very very much 😀
This really cracked me up. I’m having so much fun reading it multiple times. I hope it’s all true — especially that hilario part about the pharmacy. 🙂
I really laughed at: everyone hates me there (no one could hate you!)
haha thank you but don’t be too sure, Trace! thanks for sharing this one on your twitter timeline, it’s much appreciated!
I try and keep up with you!
a great peas of writing!
Thank you, Bonnie!
This was a super fun piece to read. Loved it!
Thank you so much, Jennifer, I’m thrilled you enjoyed this one!
Hope you send this one out for publication.