wanting to go deep
past the beginning
the starting place
keeps changing
self-medicating
with various devices
unlikely approved
by the powers that be
haphazardly curing
that which ails me
one unforgivable sin
at a time
before the cock
crows (again)
I tell myself I’ve never
denied you
not in this life
nor the next
august two thousand twenty-two
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free
only to discover that the prisoner was you.”
—Lewis B. Smedes
holding on to anger is easy but unhealthy
being able to forgive is the opposite
—on both counts
this is a poem for you
whoever you may be
holding onto something dangerous
whether you know it or not
it’s nothing to be apologetic about
that is being human
but it’s something when unable
to comprehend
there’s a greater reality
residing inside a soul
june two thousand twenty-two
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved
the act of attrition
not quite the same thing
a personal sort of process
when left talking
to yourself
it’s been as many years
as there are
days in the week
since my last obituary
ghostwritten of course
and predated
elsewhere in the clouds
I like to hang out there
when I’m at my lowest
knowing it’s a mere matter of time
before I fall down like rain
hours upon end
may two thousand twenty-two
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved
instead of pushing a button
I snail mail a handwritten note
saying please call me
of course I signed my name
in an unfriendly kind of cursive
sure to trigger an emotion
a few days pass by
& by then I’d forgotten that you’d
forgotten how to forgive
march two thousand twenty-two
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved
to counter sadness with happiness
remove mascara stain from davenport
replace shower curtain
weed the garden but cultivate select few
for they too live to bloom
repair broken bird houses
seek to find words for things left unsaid
have the chimney stack swept
walk an extra mile or two
fill the flat tires with air
locate a few long lost friends
and last but not least
find a way to forgive yourself
march two thousand eighteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved
I’m finished seeking forgiveness
will instead focus on
the power of forgiving others
before it’s too late
there is this illumination
glowing within the soul
needing to burst out
and chart a brand new course
solitude is much different
than loneliness
whether lost at sea or
mapping brand new constellations
though familiar with connecting dots
these stars shine differently
leaving you strangely amazed
now that you are finally free
october two thousand seventeen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved
we snuck inside farmer moses’
pumpkin patch one early sunday morning
october moon hanging out
at about nine o’clock
we knew we had to be quiet
but it was the place to be
and between the three of us
there was a half-pack of camels
and a case of colt 45
the girls said they’d meet us there
right around midnight
but they never did show for reasons
we would never know
morning sun does rise
as do farmer moses & his boys
pursuing instincts with rifles in hands
zeroing in on blacked out trespassers
september two thousand seventeen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved
move past the apology
and to a world where
it’s okay to let loose
and move on
time has a way of untying
most stubborn knots
freeing the soul from
undue weight
nothing is ever forgotten
but simply evolves
into memories
still alive
september two thousand twelve
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved
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