jdubqca

going through the motions

everything was crystal clear
in my mind
what I wanted to say
but when the time came to act
I froze in my own tracks
one foot in front of the other
body in full motion
memory failing

I called my mother today
to see how they were doing
aches and pains
too proud to hire a maid
it took some doing
coaxing a laugh via chit chat
neither of us interested
delving deeper than that




august two thousand nineteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

just in case

I’ve not been taking calls
but somehow this one came through

I’d been smoking and coughing
complaining about not getting
enough to eat or drink
beginning to wonder
if anyone would be visiting
again anytime soon

when the phone rang
I pressed ‘answer’ out of curiosity

nobody was on the other end
but at least I had another button
to push if need be

I looked over at the end table
and there I saw
an unopened pack of camels
and my anxiety
suddenly lessened




june two thousand nineteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

one fresh lemon and frozen peas

carrots & celery & radishes
those are the easy ones to remember

instead of making a list
I try to recall what’s in the fruit basket
lazy susan and freezer

if only I didn’t have to stop at the pharmacy
everyone hates me there
plus they have my number and long memories

I rarely go down the middle aisles
afraid I may never come out
instead stick to the edges
where I can see real people
peddling real ideas

I tell my text-by-psychiatrist
that I’m not a druggie and never was
but I do like to get high
in the strangest possible ways
and most conspicuous places

she tells me to go on but I don’t
believing she’s really not a she
but rather an under-age sex-bot created
by four freshmen software engineers
at iowa state university

I sort of come back down to earth
when the bell rings and they ask me
if I found everything all right
leaving me scratching my head
and fumbling for my car keys




january two thousand nineteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

those good old days

they sit in the great room
watching golf with the sound
turned up rather loudly
commenting how none of the
golfers have visible tattoos
like so many other athletes

what’s this cloud they talk about
she queries
pointing at the microsoft commercial
airing on the television

what’s that he shouts back

the cloud she repeats
what is this cloud all about

beats the hell out of me he says

but I thought you knew everything
she says

for the last time he says
I once knew everything
now all I know is jack squat

picking up the remote
he turns the volume up even louder

march two thousand sixteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved