jdubqca

poetry by j matthew waters

Archive for the tag “lost love”

where o where can she be


I was born to live forever
cursed by the very gods
seeking to destroy eternity

why did I fall for such lies
constructed by warped minds
promising to ease my pain

it took a lifetime to find you
and now you are gone
like a ship passing through time


april two thousand sixteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

I lost my smile and moved along


these feathers cannot tickle me
they only make me sad
knowing once they soared above
in search of one true love

these feathers I did come across
beyond the beaten path
black and white and gray like a ghost
commingling with rotting leaves

to pick them up and take them home
or let them fade where they will
I lost my smile and moved along
knowing later I’d retrace my steps


april two thousand sixteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

In Search of Clues in Phoenix


In the sink there is a teacup
half filled with water
while on the drying rack
there is a perfect match
upside down and clean

I understand twenty questions
is just a game
but so is jenga and jacks
each requiring simple dexterity
and a playing partner

When you didn’t show up
I figured I’d gotten it wrong
but when rechecking the facts
discovered my recordkeeping
perhaps was incomplete

Like a child raising his hand
dying to answer the question
I become void of thought
incapable of speech
when called upon

Blindly crawling in the dark
I shift through ashes
of bones and feathers
sniffing for that elusive spark
certain to bring you back


january two thousand sixteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

river of sorrow


first I lost my love
then I quickly lost my mind
encapsulated in glass
crashing headlong downstream
toward the convergence
known as the styx

consumed by the great marsh
my mind disappeared
deep within the underworld
leaving me cold and empty
and unable to understand
exactly what afflicted
my ailing heart



may two thousand fourteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

vanishing trick


I would understand the ending to
every single story inside you
if only you would open your skin

I would understand if you chopped
every branch and bough from the
apple tree and
carved into its core
your own sacred totem pole

if you chose to set sail off the rocky
shores of the atlantic
and never return to our native land
I would understand

if you were born in another place
and a different time
I would understand you as much
as I do today

should you vanish without a sound
nor provide a reason for
not wanting to see me again
I would only pretend to understand



april two thousand fourteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

table for one


soft strings stream from the
ceiling speakers
slightly drowning out whispers
floating throughout the
openness of this place
its reverberations caressing the
flame of a single candle
centered atop a corner table
casting a dim light on a
sea of lost thoughts
where two once sailed as one




july two thousand thirteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

down the narrow lane


she smiled and told me
how much she loved me
her palm reaching out
to touch my cheek

I remember her touch
from way back when
and closed my eyes
as if it was yesterday

walking empty-handed
down the narrow lane
I really wasn’t sure
who was leaving who



june two thousand thirteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

saint somewhere


the trains have all left
this dusty little town
and I’m left on the trackside
without even a dime
to buy a little more time
as my woman sits in coach
destination saint somewhere



may two thousand thirteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

i found a box of old poems


the poetry i wrote ages ago
doesn’t belong to me anymore

the person that wrote those lines
of despair and shame and utter honesty
has long been gone

it’s almost as if he died from self-inflicted wounds
from too much booze and tabacco
and whoring around
from not giving a shit about work
or baseball
or forgetting to buy chocolate and roses
on valentine’s day

reading page after page of the drivel
i want to tear them to pieces
but something inside me
won’t let it happen
because deep down i’m in love with the words
that used to bring me joy knowing my misery
was no different than yours




february two thousand thirteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

outside my window


peering out my window
clouds gather around
and darken
a once promising
bright day

blackbirds circle above
slowly descending
and squawking
instinctively finding
shelter

thunder murmurs and moans
and i close my eyes
suppressing
a distant memory
knocking

once the showers arrive
i gaze past the pane
your image
refreshing like the rain
falling



december two thousand twelve
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

the sad tavern


we talked for hours
after the football game
starting where we left off
thirty years ago

we sat in the very same
booth, where in the day
i wrote short stories
while putting down pints

sometimes we’d sit
at the bar and chain-smoke
sipping on coffee
in between classes

you haven’t changed a bit
she said, laughing;
a reminder how she loved
to tell white lies

once in the corner
on a cold rainy night
i wept like a baby
ruining my story

after hearing the news
you searched me out
held me in your arms
until the bar closed

you know, she said,
you’ll meet her again
and her beauty
will take you away

melancholy struck me
as she covered my wrist
with her hands,
closing her eyes



august two thousand twelve
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

I never dreamed


you forgot to tell me
where you had gone
so I wandered into the night
dreaming I would find you
somewhere safe

the night never ended
neither did the dream
of finding you
beyond the treetops
as an infinite light



july two thousand twelve
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

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