jdubqca

poetry by j matthew waters

Archive for the tag “memories”

january rain


she told me she liked a good cliché
liked how it felt against the
tip of her tongue

she was the kind of gal
who loved to french kiss for hours
or so she told no one

I remember her telling me on
new year’s eve
to be at the bus stop at noon
where she’d pick me up and
we’d go picnicking in the park

it rained throughout the night
and well into the morning
and though the buses don’t
run on sundays
there I sat in the dark
wondering where she was





june two thousand fourteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

in this land of make-believe


these dreams go beyond make-believe
and into spaces without stars
where coldness goes unnoticed
and past lives become memoirs

as I lie asleep out at sea
you seem to disappear along the shore
consumed by ultraviolet rays
disguised as gently rolling waves

cradle rocking from side to side
foreign voices tell me not to cry
assuring me things will be all right
once understanding how it ends





june two thousand fourteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

red light


camera at top of the world
forces my foot down
left facing the red light
idling first in line
outside the city’s edge

I wait with my own thoughts
neither angry nor sad
indifferent to my circumstance
my petty arguments
list of things unsaid

vague images fly by like
recollections on wheels
transporting me near and far
as if past and present
resided inside the red light

one blink of the eye
I’m rushing forward
to the next intangible destination
chased from behind by
lights of another color



march two thousand fourteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

games children play


I listened for the past
but found only this noisy place
littered with half-drunken moments
and thunderstorms
so boisterous
we were forced to hide
under the bed with earbuds
and electronic coloring books

I listened for the past
turned knobs on an etch-a-sketch
producing a frequency
revisiting
black light images
dissolving into channels
of jagged lines weaving baskets
and a cat’s cradle

I listened for the past
by focusing on a spirit
reassuredly haunting and
beautifully
invisible
hiding behind the maple
waiting for the oxen to be called
to free her people



july two thousand thirteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

heart and soul – a poem for the weary


he walks alone
because he has no place
to go
yet he knows
as long as he keeps moving
the world will never slow down

he smiles because
he was told it would keep warm his soul
and he figured
that would be a good thing
in case his heart went cold

remembering is what
he does best
not the yesterday kind of remembering
but the kind
where you go way back when
the kind
that makes you smile
and makes your heart reminisce


july two thousand thirteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

don’t let the clowns scare you


in the clouds the clowns
perform with their balloons
and wacky flowers
and superlative feet
making the children laugh and cry
leaving them wondering
why this world
is such a mysterious place

in the cloud memories
are stored so the children
can recall those days
of carelessness and glee
before forced into figuring out
how the clowns managed to
make this world
seemingly unforgettable



july two thousand thirteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

ultra echo


self-inflicted physical pain
is nothing compared to
once abandoned realities
appearing out of the thinnest of air
unfurling into razor-sharp focus
and leaving you crippled
and crying
and praying for the comfort
of that long lost world
inside a world
inside a world
inside a world



july two thousand thirteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

stepping stones


your garden is all grown up
said the daughter
to the old man as they
sat in front of the fire pit
listening to the wood talk

she remembered way back when
there were stepping stones
throughout the garden
and she would jump from one stone
to the next like you would
playing hopscotch

the stones were still there
camouflaged beneath the jungle
barely noticeable amongst the greenery
blossoming a spectrum of colors
rainbows inspired to imitate

do you remember
when we put in the stepping stones
asked the old man

yes I do
answered the daughter
I was just thinking about that



june two thousand thirteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

saturday in the park


sitting on a bench in green square park
one saturday morning
I detected so many ghosts
walking about

the first day of summer
was just a stone’s throw away
and the nine o’clock sun
tried to burn the foggy images
out of my mind’s eye

some wandered alone aimlessly
some marching in groups of two
or three or more
some pretending they really had no business
being here
while yet others carried bags
or pushed empty strollers
hoping to find ways to fill them

at the nearby city gardens
I spotted little ones sniffing
red roses
that always came back to life this time of year

I leaned back and marveled
at how all of the ghosts
managed to travel through time and space
just to revisit opening day
at this year’s farmers’ market




june two thousand thirteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

the mind reader


I lost my way along the way
and wound up in a tavern
I never knew existed

I ordered a dark beer
and sat alone
wondering how it was
I had found this place

there were so many things
I meant to get done that day
but nothing seemed to be working
so I wandered out of the city
looking at nothing in particular
and daydreaming
about all the things I had done

once finishing off the pint of beer
the bartender
poured me another without
either of us saying one word



may two thousand thirteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

death in the family


it doesn’t take much
to flip on the switch
and drop down deep
into a chasm
of a distant memory

self-prescribed doses
of self-hypnosis
transports the mind
toward understanding
ancestral realities

old candles aflame
from wishful thinking
exposes wormholes
of new dimensions
leading to affinity


april two thousand thirteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

while looking for cheaters


I stood in the kitchen dumbfounded
body leaning toward the counter
my arms stretched out
my hands gripping the edge
preventing me from falling straight down

once again short-term memory gaps
have poked holes into my productivity
the interruption of progressive thoughts
leading me down avenues of days long gone
like when I wore batman capes
and had real conversations with the mailman

I remember once when I was five
on an early sunday morning
all alone in the great room watching cartoons
my body laid out with elbows on the carpet
and chin resting inside my hands
when all of a sudden a dull clash
resonated from the kitchen and slowly
bounced it’s way into the great room

I dared not move one iota

as I stared into the kitchen
tall shadows moved about the inner walls
no doubt cast by the breeze nudging the evergreens
but I was petrified nonetheless
and hid like a stone waiting to be found


march two thousand thirteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

painted horse


the little ones gathered ‘round
ratcheting their bottoms
against the carpet as if trying to
permanently stay in place

you see
the old man began
bobbing his head
in the old days
you could drive out to the country
with your sweetheart by your side
leaving a trail of dust behind you
weaving your way through rolling hills
where rows of corn stretch toward the sun
and gigantic cows feed on fields
that forever stay green

once you reach the sign
with the painted horse
you abandon the car
and walk hand in hand down a narrow lane
leading you to an antiquated world
where you first learn to saddle your new best friend
and ride off into the sunset
with courage and grace


march two thousand thirteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

i found a box of old poems


the poetry i wrote ages ago
doesn’t belong to me anymore

the person that wrote those lines
of despair and shame and utter honesty
has long been gone

it’s almost as if he died from self-inflicted wounds
from too much booze and tabacco
and whoring around
from not giving a shit about work
or baseball
or forgetting to buy chocolate and roses
on valentine’s day

reading page after page of the drivel
i want to tear them to pieces
but something inside me
won’t let it happen
because deep down i’m in love with the words
that used to bring me joy knowing my misery
was no different than yours


february two thousand thirteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

what’s your name


we used to rehearse our lines
in the lounge at memorial hall
back when you could
smoke cigarettes inside
and buy drafts of beer for fifty cents

I recall saying I would never
forget those lines but
they seem to have escaped me
and I am left with only a memory
of how the sunlight
bounced off the glass-framed
paintings hanging on the walls
making your eyes
appear as a certain shade of green
that for some reason reminded me
of the time I sailed the aegean sea



january two thousand thirteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

outside my window


peering out my window
clouds gather around
and darken
a once promising
bright day

blackbirds circle above
slowly descending
and squawking
instinctively finding
shelter

thunder murmurs and moans
and i close my eyes
suppressing
a distant memory
knocking

once the showers arrive
i gaze past the pane
your image
refreshing like the rain
falling



december two thousand twelve
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

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