jdubqca

poetry by j matthew waters

Archive for the tag “insanity”

think twice


dusk arrives unannounced
followed by cat calls & bird songs
filtering in thru the cracked window

had I not destroyed myself
just before the dawn
did not the moon inform me
you’re finished once & for all

my vision blurred & my voice raspy
the blood in my veins
still flowing freely
I find myself back to life
back to my somewhat former self

at the window I peer past the shade
— there appears the moon
nothing like I remembered
deaf & dumb & barely visible
painted the dullest gray

talk now I say
tell me about this immortality
you had promised
made possible you said
by the hangman’s noose
the very one inside this room
at the foot of the bed





march two thousand twenty-three
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

reverse psychosis


they took me from the workplace
with complete brutality
my body slowly deteriorating
from the inside out
my mind awash in alcohol

my comfort zone disappeared
and I was left with nothing but
unanswered questions
reeling from a sickness
that struck without warning

I was told never to worry
that a new reality would unfold
how I would fall fast asleep
for nearly a lifetime
only to awaken as a god





december two thousand twenty-two
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

Boomerang


He started telling me things
little things
I had no business knowing

After a while the little things
mixed with the big things
and soon the important things
seemed to not matter so much

Every day for over two thousand
I did nothing but live alone with
my own thoughts

Of course I continued to enjoy
chocolate kisses and
group therapy and
kite flying

When he rescued me from
voluntary confinement
I screamed incoherently while
riding on the back of his fifty horses
hair blowing back horizontally
arms raised and flailing

Now after so many years since
time has turned around
and I find myself
drifting and regressing
but succeeding at exorcising
my very own demons


september two thousand fourteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

behind closed doors


golden skeleton key
wrapped around your neck
designed to unleash spontaneity
while keeping the monsters at bay
magically vanishes in the feckless wind

inside the madhouse demons slash
and poke with razors and needles
fingerpainting false memories on
invisible doors and lasering
new keyholes with a blazing white light


march two thousand fourteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

the time eraser


fleet of foot
and quite aloof
the time eraser
runs in the background
as quiet as a ghost

as mistakes
accumulate
the time eraser
springs into action
restoring sanity

troubles fade
thoughts unravel
the time eraser
intravenously
injecting new cocktails


august two thousand thirteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

from the newsroom archives


born into a disconnected world
thousands of years back or forwards
angry young men
count using hands and feet
and algorithms buried
beneath the rubble

without warning there is no danger
there are only unexplained explosions
breathing new life
into a universe dying to attract
everything that is beautiful
inside a perfect circle


august two thousand thirteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

when the lion awakens from within


so much dark emotion lives
deep within us
locked away from centuries past
idling by and unafraid
able to unleash itself
most unexpectedly

almost anything can spark
its wickedness
awakening from dormancy
and revealing bloody secrets
only unknown ancestors
ever knew subsisted

like a lion suddenly enraged
instinctively
you rush from out of the bushes
rip apart the innocent lamb
quietly devouring
any remnant of yourself




june two thousand thirteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

the day of the sentencing


he was so polite
he said yes ma’am
and no thank you
even asking permission
to use the bathroom

while he was away
everyone agreed
something terribly
went haywire upstairs
while everyone else
stood by fast asleep


march two thousand thirteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

the exorcist


I hadn’t been afraid for so long
that when the inevitable came
knocking at my door
I checked my pulse
and let the shadow in

an eerie thought cooled my palms
and sharpened my eyes
leading me to believe
I was on the verge
of losing my sanity

I issued a self-restraint citation
against my worse judgement
barricading myself
in the confessional
waiting for a priest



december two thousand twelve
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

boxed in


this claustrophobic feeling
assails me like a shrinking
windowless room needing
a new paint job as the four
padded sides diminish my
ability to control my sanity
or concentrate coherently


september two thousand twelve
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

virtual leave of absence


I sign in with a password
as old as the hills
one any junkie hack
should crack
without much effort

keep thinking I’ve seen it all
until some new shit
keeps popping up
every few seconds
proving I’m wrong

trying to keep cool
today I told someone
to multi-task
when I know damn well
that is so yesterday

my virtual file cabinet burned
with the last solar flare
to hit the network
disabling my efforts
to save the company

without any time to lose
I found myself
vacationing on the moon
with my new best friends
who have no names



august two thousand twelve
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

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